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RelapseIt’s like counting
along your limbs -
remembering a time
‘just one more’
made you feel better.
- & you’re sitting there
Draco, stuck in limbo
always looks like he’s
Does that make me Different?I wear make up. Does that make me fake?
I cry. Does that make me emo?
I have male friends. Does that make me slutty?
I smile a lot. Does that make me weird?
I laugh loud. Does that make me preppy?
I have anxiety. Does that make me a freak?
I have Bipolar Disorder. Does that make me abnormal?
I respect people. I change for me, and only me. I have a past, but I know I have a future.
Does that make me different?
But at least it makes me
We fight for our dream.
We're just waiting to die.
The same emotions
with a different drive.
Sometimes dead, sometimes alive.
The same in one way,
different in another
brother and sister, sister and brother.
So close in feeling,
so different in the end.
Falling apart, or finally on the mend?
Which am I?
Will I ever know?
Fighting to stay or ready to go?
Maybe I'm both,
in some impossible way.
Emotions oddly mixed everyday.
I'm such a freak.
Excuse me, I laugh, I should call it "unique"
the name that cuts like a knife,
it's all that you see inside,
is breaking with every breath I take
the only thing I can't seem to face.
Battle in my MindEat.
Take it easy.
Work out until you pass out.
Get help.Tell someone.
Keep it a secret. It's only for you and me.
Why won't you listen?
They don't understand.
Let me help you.
You don't understand.
I love you..
In The Daylight
In The Daylight
A false downfall
An unexpected revival
Sunset to moonset
Shining through darkness
In the valley of promises- I will fear no end
On the brink of weakness- I will ascend
Roads of the toughest
Paths of the darkest
I conditioned my flawed limits
So fearful memories won't be paralytic
I had to raise my own spirit
Strength and endurance become so vivid
A chance for change / A moment of fate
A time to make peace / A brief feeling of creed
A sealing of my slate / A silencing of my mistakes
A secret ready to be freed / A chain soon-to-be incomplete
Pain and peace are infinite
Judge the wrat
wallflower clippingsthere's scar tissue in her throat,
swollen around the words she never said;
dark rings around her eyes
like planets unremembered, and
a staleness to her touch,
the crystalline Dead Sea.
she's living like a story
that's already been told
"if no one loved you
would you mean anything at all?"
in that moment,
we forget to exist.
We are the King and Queen of Broken DreamsStanding still in a mine field, staring at all we have left.
We were so young, we didn’t stop to think.
Now we’re in a car crash, teetering on the brink.
If you were to leave me now, I don’t know what I’d do.
It was a whirl wind romance,
A light when all was black, a spark of something when all was bleak.
You swept me off my feet and made me feel brand new.
I thought we could live forever and I’m certain you did to.
We built a house without foundations
And now we’re falling down,
Everything’s crumbling around us, time slipping through out fingertips.
People used to walk past us but they were to drunk to see,
That our lives are coming apart around us, there is no light as far as we can see.
There was no fire to start with,
Just two broken things, the world had left behind.
The casualties of other people’s dreams of power, money and control,
Spat out onto the curb to rot away and die.
We never stood a chance or so
Our MasksThe masks we wear are perfect
Never loose and rarely tight
They keep us safe from others
And keep our demons out of sight
They smile when we are broken
And laugh when we simply must
No blemish or imperfection
A creation that will never rust.
I seldom ever remember
Who I am without my mask
That to peel off that layer
Is such a daunting task
All others carry one as well
Wherever they may go
And no matter what is on their minds
Only the molded mask will show.
The lies they preach in public
Or the scars along their wrists
Are left mute to others knowledge
Ignorance is such a splendid gift
My mask is oh so perfect
Not a crack will show
Ode to the boy with diamonds for eyesI think we were a collision course waiting to happen
And when I think back to the day when we first
Stumbled across one another, red sneakers hanging off gutters
Cherry cola voice overs and dilated pupils
We led one another on to believe in the night sky of connect the dot constellations
You wanted to dissect me and peer into the insides of my lungs
Only to find witches breath and dandelions
Slicing iron vowels you locked your hands in mine
And we fell into the static of dreaming disease
The operating table broke away to reveal a sky that never existed
And we couldn't help but laugh at the irony
Because wishing was never an option
Her SideTomorrow she'll be gone,
but what can you say?
Nothing can help her.
The pain won't go away.
But she would've stopped,
you could've said no.
That's what she wanted,
someone to say don't go.
That someone wanted her,
or at least would try.
That someone would grieve
if she were to die.
But you just stared,
nodding your head,
and she realized the truth
with a feeling of dread.
No one wanted her.
No one cared.
Not even you,
with the the love you shared.
So she said good-bye,
and you watched her leave.
She may have had the rope,
but now you can't breathe.
People don't even look
when they walk by.
Nobody even asks my ideas,
Nobody even knows
who I am.
When people see me,
they either ignore me,
or ask a question:
"Who are you?"
But they don't even bother
to listen to my response:
Forgotton by everyone.
Forgotton by my friends, my allies.
Maybe one day
Someone will remember my name.
Falling off the EdgeDo you know what it feels like?
To nearly fall off the edge,
but not quite...
just so that you're dangling;
clinging for your worthless life
lest it fall into the sea of loneliness.
Your callused, pink fingers turning
to a shade of purplish-red of pain
as it does it best to hold on.
In the sea of loneliness,
everything is crisp, translucent.
There is nothing around you,
you are alone...
unlike other people,
you have no one
clamouring to save you;
you have no one
diving in to get you out.
There is no point
screaming for help,
you will only waste
the little time and air you have left.
You only have the darkness
of the sea envelop
PerfectEver had the feeling where you can't stop looking at a picture?
Your gorgeous face makes me smile
Go weak at the knees
Makes me giggle like a little girl
Those morning texts
All day conversations
Random silly things like that
Make me smile
I see the led light flash the colours I've set for when I get a message from you
My heart flutters
My cheeks flush
I go deaf to the world when I'm reading a message from you
If your down
I'm always there for you
I know you don't want to worry me
I know you want me to smile
But I'm always here for you
No matter how you feel
I'd prefer to help
Than for you to be down
Your gorgeous eyes
Of Flame and of WaveThat beach where we blew bubbles and
Was made more of rocks than of sand.
It hurt my soft feet to walk on the rocks'
But I'd walk on knives to follow you.
The foamy sea water would come up kissing
Like the water was our lover.
I wonder if you really thought the sea had become
Was I replaced by the ocean?
Surely you must have thought something when you ran
Into it's icy depths.
Did you think that maybe the sea was a
Because if so, obviously you were wrong.
At least with fire you always get burnt, but with water it might
One minute, and kill yo
Your Forgotten DreamDear Superstar,
Do you remember how after it rained, water would drip off the railing on the old warehouse we used to sit in? And when it rained really hard, it would be like a continuous stream of water. You said it was romantic, watching the water fall.
[I never understood that.]
But I was a sucker for romance, I remember that, too. Don't you? I used to plan out little scenarios in my mind that I knew would never happen, but I'd plan them anyways. And sometimes I'd write them down in my journal. I remember when my scenarios started coming true when we were together.
[I always wondered how you did that.]
You didn't know I kept a diary.
Shock My Salt Until... -c-Your hands were like lightning
And created an electric
S O K
When we touched.
Your mouth was the sea,
The Cafe II Alilial followed the taller girl out of the café. The heavy black door opened, emitting a tiny bit of sunlight into the café which they hid in, though not much. Both girls looked up into the dark, foggy sky above them and smiled in the dim light. This city was always dark, and they loved it.
The street they stood on was small, maybe three or four feet wide, and surrounded on both sides by tall, dark buildings with boarded up windows. In other words, it was a dark alley one might expect a murderer to be on, which made it perfect for the girls walking down it.
Bitten Fingernails + InsomniaMy name's Carissa Mattox, and I am bitten fingernails and sleepless nights; a bad habit no one wants to keep.
I take after my father too much for anyone's good, and I'm a dreamer cursed with a rationalist's mind. I'm a people person who doesn't like people and an oxymoron wrapped inside pretty metaphors. I have too much empathy but pretend to have too little, and I'm guarded too heavily, but I'd kill to have anyone see past my façade, if only for a minute.
I say I don't believe in love, but only because it's what I want more than anything. I'm a sickness with no cure and a heart without a beat. I want someone to understand me, but I'd
Let Me Be Your ChaosTrue love is like a
G R A F F I T I E D wall
On the bad side of town.
You can spend days and years,
And months and decades,
Deciphering its code
And still not understand it.
That old wall on the bad side of town
Is crumbling in that
Old romantic way
But people rarely stop to look.
It was created with passion,
And finished with care,
It's seen by many,
But cherished by few.
Those lucky few who stop and see
Step up and add their own little piece
But you'll never find that same graffiti
On that same crumbling wall
On the same bad side of town
In the world.
And if you're lucky enough to see the beauty in
C H A O S
Ten Days - Day TwoOne.
You haunt my dreams,
And when I wake up in a cold sweat
I like to pretend like I'm okay.
Normalcy never seemed so great.
I scream until my
Lungs give out and I pray that
Someone will notice.
But when I look around and see their faces,
I've never felt more alone.
Writer's block is a disease.
Most people are born with it.
I'm fortunate enough to only have it on occasion.
My least favorite thing about myself
Is that I'm a writer.
Sometimes you can't help
But look your gift in the mouth,
And not like what you see.
I've noticed that your eyes aren't bright
When you look my way and that your voice
Keep in Touch!
`anmari has been spreading her infectious positivity throughout our community for over 6 years. Throughout this time Ana has been at the core of all things devious, passionately developing an eclectic gallery, helping organise devmeets, participating in chat events and also recently completed dedicating her time as a Community Volunteer. We are absolutely delighted to bestow the Deviousness Award for May 2013 to `anmari, congratulations! Read More